he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
