just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
