I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
