when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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