You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
