you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
