Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
