You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
