from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my shit smells like andre
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
