I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
