hotel room ftw
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
