Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
