Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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