so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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