True but thats because hes a fetus.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
