it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I currently don't understand fingers.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize