Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think my fart just growled at me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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