is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Vodka?
Forever.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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