She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
