watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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