That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
