I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
