I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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