In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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