He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
