she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
