9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There r osticjed everywhere
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I would fuck him just for his dog
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
