nut hugger
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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