i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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