The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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