She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
