The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
