I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize