Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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