You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
