i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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