but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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