That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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