I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize