I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
