trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
