She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
