Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
