Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
