i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize