Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
