i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
