He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
