Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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