god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
