dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
