I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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