Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my shit smells like andre
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize