I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
