How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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