the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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