and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
