She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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