We're like a lot better than the average bears
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
