he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
