Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I believe in your delicious
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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